Adventures in Crafting and Post-Covid Long Covid

 So…along with the inevitable recovery from the second bout of Covid (it’s horrendous. I thought it was bad before I had had covid again and now I’m back to three hours of unconsciousness if I decide to shower. Joy. Send an email or read a document? Ditto). Today, I’m feeling knocked out because I decided to stitch up the playsuit from the vintage pattern and… I might have forgotten to check my new measurements (though I recently checked them and they were as they usually are). It DOES fit, only the pockets (macgyvered from another pattern) are pulling and muggins here decided to completely finish the seams BEFORE checking the fit (as I could, reasonably, have reduced the side seam allowance to maybe 3/8 without affecting the overall fit). I can get them on. I can sit down without the seams straining. I do need to work on this pattern again, especially if I want to sew it up in anything more robust for winter and, in all honesty, it might work really well in a substantially thick knit without much stretch (not that I know how to sew knits. I am scared of them and I don’t have a properly serviced and working serger). It was a worthwhile experiment, but I’m going to tinker with the pattern again - which is Simplicity S9792 vintage from Jiffy range. The pockets came from a tunic/dress McCalls pattern as it didn’t have internal pockets with the pattern. I just have to find buttons, sew on suitable sized snaps (which I don’t have) or skirt closures (which I like and do have) but safety pins will do for now and if it comes to it, I’ll just sew buttons right through all the layers of fabric. My zip installation….worked. It’s been a while since I put one in and it kind of shows a bit. I am pretty sure I was using the zipper foot - again, I should have checked. I also need to hem the legs and work on the back legs pattern a bit.

I do like this pattern, not least because the zip fastening makes it really easy to get into, which is importantly if you’re disabled. The shoulder design is also useful if you’re expecting to have to spend time on IV/post surgery and with chronic conditions, opting to buy patterns which are easily adjustable to these considerations is important. Same with being a wheelchair user. I’ve found the Cashmerette advice in the book Adjusting the Curve to be really helpful with this. Increasing the seat (aka over the backside and up to the waist) is really important (I was already doing this with my sway back, but now I need to increase that more), but I’m also now having to adjust for the overhang at the front (something I think was MAJORLY affecting the playsuit at around the hips), adding leg length to account for sitting in a wheelchair and so on.

In other news, my experimental Knickerbockers worked really well and I’m very pleased with them! I’m toying with the idea of not bothering with the whole closure on the leg thing, though it did work, and just using elastic and coming up with some kind of fake button tab thing. Though it does work and looks cool! 

Anyway, I’m off back to check the fit of this thing as I wait for a drain engineer to come out on an emergency and hem the legs. Later! 

Crafting and Other (Long Covid) Updates

 Seeing as I FINALLY got down and cut out my knickerbockers, following a MacGyvering of two Simplicity patterns, I thought I’d drop in a post to update on various crafting shenanigans. 

As I can’t remember (read: didn’t bother to check the last post), over the last few weeks, I’ve finished my trans inclusive pride flag blanket replacement, knitted (frogged and re knitted) a rainbow dog jumper for a neighbour (from blanket leftovers), a cardigan in black, red and grey for my GP’s new baby (also from said leftover yarn) and started both a Sirdar jumper in Jewelspun (which I thought had wool in it, which will teach me to check properly) and my first pair of socks of the season in Cascade heritage solid and print. Why both? Because this tunic sweater is the biggest garment project I’ve knitted, I know it’s sometimes a good plan to knit something smaller, so you finish things. I set myself at least ten rows of the tunic sweater every day to knit, which is probably about 5cm. I also like knitting small things. Especially socks. I do have a sock yarn problem, so it’s probably good I’m keen on knitting them, huh? 

In terms of socks, I am aiming this year to get at least a pair finished by the end of the month and the Cascade Heritage print is possibly the thinnest yarn I’ve ever knitted with, but it’s incredibly soft. The colours reminded me of the Hocus Pocus witches, just in a more pastel colourway, without being actually pastel. I’m using a sage solid for the rib, heel and toe and it looks lovely. Given this is how what I like to do, I’ll almost certainly get a second pair out of this yarn (like I did with my Christmas socks for myself last year - someone was most pleased to get a pair of socks big enough for their feet!). The pattern I’m using is the one I knitted up in a lovely, now discontinued, cashmere sock wool by Debbie Bliss and, I regret to say, I fiddled with the pattern, resulting in a pair of socks just a smidge too small for me, so they were also passed along to a grateful recipient. Hand knit cashmere socks, with a lace stripe down each sock! She was pleased, but so am I to be finally able to knit my own pair!

I weakened and bought some Opal sock yarn yesterday in a 6ply, which I’m either going to knit slipper socks out of or just some socks. I’ve got some excellent patterns for thicker socks, so I’m looking forwards to using up the lovely pure wool I used to knit the greyhound jumpers over the summer, along with some slipper soles from Regia and Bergere De France - yes, I do want some new slipper socks.

I had a LOT of sock yarn leftover from last year in some prints and block solids and I then decided to buy yet more sock yarn - as of today, four of the six balls have arrived from Lovecrafts and Hobbii (though one colour way IS going to almost match my tunic sweater when it’s finished, so…). Look, I have a problem. A sock yarn problem. I know I do. But I’ve got patterns and a determination to not buy any more now. Promise. 

As I’m now not well enough to work, I am enjoying knitting and pottering. I’m slowly managing to sort through things a little at a time and I know that once I finish the sitting room I’ll feel much better, same with the kitchen. I recently was gifted an air fryer, which I’m very excited about.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, these socks aren’t going to knit themselves, nor is the tunic sweater. Sewing needs to wait for another day…

In terms of Long Covid, things are much the same; waiting for appointments, having others, waiting to hear about decisions on benefits, though I am now in the Support Group for ESA, which means they think I’m not well enough. Just another two and the pension to go. Knowing I’m relatively financially secure will make a big difference to my anxiety levels. However I am still facing selling my home. Sigh. 

Do take care.

Yikes. It’s been a while

 I ended up not updating the blog this year for a number of reasons:

1) The Keyworker Petition Campaign took off in a BIG way, leading to over a hundred thousand supporters on the Change platform. It was handed into 10 Downing Street in March, but the London trip took so much out of me I’ve been in a relapse ever since, though up until August, I was involved in a number of other long Covid projects, with Long Covid Scotland, as well as the Scottish Healthcare Workers’ Coalition, who are a core participant of the Scottish Covid Inquiry. Confidentiality reasons mean I can’t say too much about that, but I can tell you that there is now a survey (which I originally drafted) for any health or social care worker to complete, with or without Long Covid. I was advised I was near burnout and had to stop 95% of advocacy. I’m hoping to get back in the saddle, but that’s dependent on a number of other things getting done first.

2) I finally lost my job in August. Medical termination. I knew it was coming, but it’s still been a shock. I also came off the U.K. nursing register at the end of the same month, so I’m no longer a registered nurse. I’ve only been qualified 12 years, so it’s been a very nasty and frustrating shock to the system and something that is entirely down to my Covid infection in 2020 and the lack of proper support and care since.

3) I am currently trying to sort out my home, as it’s looking very much likely that I will have to sell. I am, at least, on the council housing register, but the chance of staying in this area is remote. The best case scenario for me is that I can stay put until I qualify for sheltered housing and see if I can’t move back to the area I grew up in - which is still close to where I am now and there’s a good chance my GP practice would let me stay with them (and it’s on a direct bus route to them). However, when you’ve got relapsing and remitting symptoms on the daily, with severe PEM and PESE, trying to clear said home is extremely difficult. However I have now gone through about 80% of my books and a van load of things recently went off to charity shops. I’m also going through my shoes, accessories and bags etc, as well as clothing, again to try and slim that down. The final load will be ready to go to charity or sale in the Spring, whether I’m still here or not. I’ve also identified furniture I am going to let go as well. I suspect that once I’ve completely gone through all my cupboards and lockup, all that is gone and everything is more manageable I will feel a lot better. It’s just chaotic at the moment, which I absolutely hate, but there’s not much I can do about it and it all has to be done very, very slowly, lest I end up in bed for days on end. 

4) Shenigans with local health providers continues: One appointment got pushed back nearly four months, due to their closing the local testing clinic without warning and the next closest didn’t have any appointments for another 10 weeks. Then, as I cannot get equipment back to another clinic within 24 hours, they’ve cancelled those appointments and put me back on the waiting list for an inpatient appointment and that’s got an 18 month waiting list, less the four months I’ve been on it. Still no word about the exception for a medication. And then there was the farce over my flu vaccination. The Costumeer is VERY displeased with all this and no, I do not take this passively: A complaint has been put in about the horror show that is my nearest mass vaccination clinic. My MSP is also involved. 

5) I am still crafting when I feel able. I recently finished two greyhound jumpers and am now working on a replacement blanket for myself - it’s called a memory blanket (but the Hue Afghan by Knit Picks is very similar) - that has a cunning method meaning you can make this as small or big as you like and each square of it is constructed by partially or entirely picking up stitches from what you have already knitted - this means less sewing up (ie exertion) and I’m also making good use of another technique that means you partially incorporate loose ends as you’re knitting so there shouldn’t be too much of that either. I’m getting through anywhere between 3 and 6 squares a day. I managed to weaken this morning and buy more yarn and a pattern for a sweater I saw. It’s a bit more of a challenge as it’s a jumper for me, longer length and a chevron-style patterns, meaning you are increasing and decreasing on the same rows. I shall be using lots and lots of stitch markers! I’ve also promised some more dog jumpers to friends, but in most cases we are waiting as they’re mostly puppies or I need to see how much yarn is left from projects I’ve just completed or am working on. As the squares of this blanket are a bit smaller than I wanted, I’ve got to decide on how I’m going to make it a bit bigger before I use my grey yarn to knit the borders, but given the yardage used so far and what I’ve got left, I don’t think this is going to be an issue. Plus, once the main section is completed, it’s a case of dividing each colour left in half by weight, so equal amounts go on top and bottom edges. I was going to do smaller squares in the same method, but by the point I’m done with this main 11 or 12 x 11 stripe sequence, I think I’ll be over it and just want some stripes! I’m hoping that my 80cm circular needle will work for this, but I’m resigned to possibly purchasing a much longer one if needs be. I’ve got plans to cut out and sew up three or four garments - as two (or three, if I do two colourways of the knickerbockers) are autumn/fall style, but I’ve really got to adjust the pattern (I am MacGyvering my own from two - basically I’m altering the leg to that of another one and it’s not gone well. I may end up with the black ones, rather than the wool check, as the former fabric is cheaper so I won’t be too upset if it doesn’t go completely to plan). I’ve also drafted an 18th century short cloak and I’ve got the fabric for that, plus lining for the hood and some cheap metal closures. I’m not yet sure if I will be able to get away with leaving the edges unbound, but if the cloth is as lightly fulled as I think it is, it means it’s not a woven that will fray, so, as per historical ones, I can leave it. My replacement Star Wars dress or possibly trousers I am leaving till next year - the other one was given to my Aussie pal as it’s too big for me but fit her perfectly, but I bought replacement fabric. I keep searching for inexpensive, lightly fulled broadcloth wool mix fabric to make another long cloak out of, as mine is a bit too heavy a weight to drape properly, but I still haven’t seen any in a colour I want. The short cloak I intend to make non-costume use out of. Eventually I hope to trim it in Ribbon, fyi, but I don’t know when. If I do have to bind the edges, I’m just going to use plain old bias and I’ve got two colours to pick from. But it will probably be black. As most of you know, I tend to start knitting socks when the weather turns - I’ve got plenty of sock yarn to use! I’ve also got a lot of worsted/aran left from the dog jumper projects, so I will be knitting up a pair of slippers for myself, probably using two strands to achieve a chunky weight. I’ve got a pair of slipper soles, but my source recently closed down, though Bergere De France also do two types. 

6) Financials. I’m expecting to get 12 weeks redundancy plus my AL and they said that works out to a similar length of time. If I get it in one payment, unfortunately that’ll be taxed silly. I’ll get back the tax at the end of the year, but by that point I’ll just be out of the non-contributory stage of Employment Support Allowance, so whatever I get from tax back will be taken off my contributory based benefits. I am still waiting to hear about which group I’m supposed to be in, as there’s not only a different level of support, but also activities to engage with, though I will appeal if they consider me able to do some work at the moment as I can’t leave the house most of the time, let alone get through most days without a long rest and nap. I haven’t heard about Industrial Injuries Disablement Benefit - which I wasn’t expecting to get - so I’m calling that agency on Monday to find out what’s going on. In terms of the Scottish benefits agency, I found out two weeks ago that despite having my paperwork for nearly four months, they haven’t even got to the point of assessing my change form (and knowing my luck, they won’t have got to it by January when my current award expires, meaning that I’ll end up completing two change forms, essentially). I have been warned it’s taking more than eight months for these things to be sorted out (worse than when it was being handled by the U.K. agency, which is widely regarded as awful), which is extremely stressful to hear when you’ve lost your job and need to know what your income is likely to look like going forwards. I don’t know if the Pensions Agency have received my paperwork, but they’re also taking at least six months or more to decide if they will or will not award you early retirement, with mine not being worth much as I’ve only been working 12 years as a nurse. As for my legal case, there’s no word yet. I do have to forward on some information I got via my MSP, as it’s pertinent - not least the level of ableism displayed towards most people with chronic conditions in respect of management risk assessments. But I’ll need to look at the Covid age thing again, as there’s a very pertinent line in there about managers taking into account local prevalence of virus when deciding on non-shielding staff. 

I try to remain optimistic, even though I now need a wheelchair and I’m waiting for that appointment. Today has been a high pain day and I’m reminded of the levels of recycling that need done. I also need to get to the local grocery store. I’m also thinking of vlogging and learning how to edit. 

Friends, I hope you’re well. Should I remember, I will be posting some advice/shortcuts/things I use for bad days. 

If I remember… 

Long Covid - What Else Is New?

 Today I wish I was writing a happier or more constructive post. This isn’t it. 

I had a check in with my boss, who’s just back at work after THE VIRUS. Funnily enough, they’re not feeling right. I advised Berocca, pacing and lots of rest. Not overdoing it.

Anyhoo, I explained how the referral to neurology went awry for some reason, so I’m not where I should be on the waiting list. Also explained how my unreliable meat-sack now has cysts where I don’t want them. And my immune system is so shot to pieces I have a nasty fungal nail infection, with bonus gammy toe issue (goodbye £50 for private podiatry because 18 months after referral to the NHS podiatry for a different foot problem, I STILL don’t have an appointment). Then there’s the obvious cognitive problems after just a couple of hours of doing anything. And the fact I can’t stand up for more than 10 minutes (I am in an office job, but still). The clinical trial I am in - the only one I found that I qualify for - is lifestyle intervention and I feel much more fatigued on it. That could also be the medication for the fungal infection. 

I don’t know what to do. I keep taking my supplements and, to be honest, I’m going to start with low res exercise, even tho everyone has told me not to. At the current time, I just can’t see myself ever getting back to work full time as a nurse. I see myself losing my job and therefore my home in a matter of months. This fear and stress is ever-present and it is NOT doing me any good. 

While I can’t talk about it, this feeling of having my back to the wall did prompt me, following some counselling, to deal with my anger around how I got infected more constructively and, with my union’s assistance, I’m now looking into it. I cannot say more than that. I literally feel like it’s similar to Luke Skywalker being the Last Hope for the Galaxy. 

I am going to be constructive, speaking to friends about what else we can do to raise awareness of the situation Key Workers are in: Governments utterly failed us during the pandemic, putting many of us at unacceptable risk. Now they look like they’re ignoring us, hoping we go away and many are finding themselves facing the ableist attitude of “If you can’t keep up with everyone else, then out the door you go”. 

I’ll keep you as posted as I can about the things I can, but rest assured that the brain fog is back, plus the tachycardia and fatigue, as well as interrupted sleep never ends.