More Adventures in Pattern Adaptation and Other Assorted Shenanigans

 Greetings, lone reader!

Further to my last post, my online fabric emporiums of choice were perused, patterns were decided upon and deep breaths were taken; pattern alteration in my place has to happen on the piece of hard floor between the rug and the door in the sitting room. It always ends up in contortion and soreness. I literally don’t have any other surface to work from and the dining table probably isn’t big enough for this either. 

I wanted an adapted pair of trousers, like a pair of jeans (but much lighter) for summer. When I bought the fabric I wasn’t 100% decided on whether I wanted denim-adjacent shorts or trousers, so I bought enough to make the trousers with a chunk left over (and I’ve got some remainder chambray from the failed playsuit of two years ago) so paperbag waist shorts for me (or the niece) could still be in my future.

Prior to taking over my floor space with pattern paper and shooing away inquisitive cats every two seconds, I took a number of measurements, because standing and sitting can be quite different - certainly any wheelchair user who has spent hours tugging up the back of trousers and shorts or trying to pull the legs of skirts down will tell you this! These measurements included:

-Seated waist to crotch - back and front (most people need to lower the front and raise the back, but this depends on your body shape)

- Various leg lengths; inner leg measurement, lateral (that’s the opposite one to the leg measurement) and front leg measurement from the hip crease - all seated

- Hips and waist measurements in the seated position. 

Because I have a tummy, I didn’t need to lower the front leg from crotch to waist, but I did need to add on about 1.5 inches in leg length overall and I also added an extra inch to the hem, to allow for fancy turn-up. I added 2.5 inches to the back leg waist to crotch measurement, using a pivot method, which makes sure the overall waist measurement doesn’t change (though that can be pleated or gathered into the waistband if needed. This is more than what I need to add for my standing back alteration, which needs a 1/2 to 3/4 inch wedge added to allow for the lumbar lordosis in my EDS scoliosis spine. If, when I add the waistband, I feel that’s too much I can always reduce it a little when trying it on before doing my final stitching. The other alterations I will be making are in relation to pocket placement; I won’t be adding the back rear ones and I’ll probably be playing around with some of the others, mostly in terms of position or alignment. For a mostly seated individual, hip/waist pockets, unless opening from the waistband, aren’t very accessible and the alignment of most thigh pockets in stores (even for a lot of so-called adaptive clothing) is still designed for those who are standing. 

The pattern I am using is McCalls 8458; it’s a unisex pattern that has all sizes from XS to XXL. It has three styles; shorts plus two versions of trousers. The fact the design has specifically added pockets to the calf level and double layered ones WITH ZIPS at that was what drew me to it. It looks to be a really easy pattern to make up and it was a very easy pattern alteration compared to the usual shenanigans I encounter with the top half ones (increase for weapons of mass distraction, lower apex point, allow for kyphosis, remember you have a stupidly short body AND narrow shoulders).

Today’s part of chronic sewing was cutting out the new pattern pieces - I always trace off the original then add my changes. I also then label them with the pattern number, name of piece and date I made them. The only other thing I need to check is whether or not I’ve actually got eyelets of the correct size, plus buy a drawstring for the waist. The eyelets can easily be replaces with buttonholes if necessary. I won’t be cutting out the fabric, let alone attempt to start sewing (which will likely end up NOT the same as the instructions because of moving said pockets - which will then need to be re-marked on the new pattern pieces for location) for a good while. I’m expecting a bit of a crash following the visit of a friend overnight this past weekend, plus I’ve got meetings this week and another blog post to write and I need to do some research for it. 

In other positive sewing news, I’ve not only found some accessible bra patterns, but I’ve found a really good few that I can adapt to being front closure as well. I have found some of the hardware I wanted and have been chatting with a friend about buying some cheap versions that will never fit me so I can scrap them for parts (parts I cannot find online). I also have been emailing various retailers back and forth about the importance of adaptive garments in a range of sizes, including really large. There will likely be more emailing between myself and various pattern designers, as well as fabric retailers, in relation to modifications. I really just want some cheap fabrics to make some toiles at this point to fit. I’ve decided on a sports bra of some description, a comfort cross-over and a slightly more formal one. Cashmerette and Porcelynne have some really good patterns, although Lilypa designs have some excellent ones in a range of sizes that look like they could be easily modified to front closure - and some patterns are free! I’ve also got some comfortable pull on bras (they’re just not easy to get into) that I can look at for ideas as well. I have even managed to get hold of a proper tank with shelf bra - that comes in fuller cup sizes. Overall, my main considerations are:

-front (reversed) adjustable straps, either standard or using Velcro (remembering to try and use the clear plastic fittings where possible as we are a bunch more likely to need X-rays and MRIs)

- front closure, either magnet or hook, remembering to include something to try and stop the hook(s) from coming undone. Snaps are also a consideration, with perhaps a little Velcro to secure

- remembering that all of these designs need to include some kind of mini loops to aid closing the things and their placement. 

There are endless possibilities and I’ve now got patterns to base these on. With any luck, I’ll have something that fits and meets my needs soon. Glamorise and Springrose may work for a lot of people, but the former has too many hooks for bad hand days and the latter doesn’t really cater for my size. Lots of lovely people also kept trying to direct me to a company I already know, but their flexible sized bras don’t work for me and my shoulders are often too unstable for me to get the pull on styles on and off, particularly when my skin is a bit damp. And sometimes I am too tired to deal with the wrestling myself in and out. I’ll keep you posted on the design process of all three, but I think the crossover style will be first as it is likely going to be the easiest to figure out the mods for and a style that significantly avoids unaboob sweating. 

There may be another post today about clothing items and patterns to watch out for if you’re a wheelchair user, but I also do have to work on this other blog post as I now only have two weeks really to get the draft done of my part. 

Plans for the podcast have stalled a little as my co-host has a lot going on at the moment, but we are still committed to this and I’ve found an independent designer to commission for a logo and possibly other work down the line. I know a lot of people are using AI for merch designs and the like, but I am not a confident user.

Bye for now 

PS I have also created a character that may end up getting used in an ongoing series by AI and I YouTube channel. Yes, the series is set in a magical world created by someone whose views I don’t support and who I don’t particularly care for, however the creator is sound. So sound I chose to support him on Patreon while he was demonetised (and he’s just got that back) so he could continue his work. He’s now built and inclusive community of supporters in the Writers’ Room and we also have a Wiki! We love being included, involved in character design, sometimes plot as well and generally being chaos agents across all age groups. Some lovely people created my character’s image and it’s getting good feedback as it’s also disabled. I’ll let you know how this pans out! 

Adventures in Pattern Adaption and General Life Update (Plus - Coming Soon!)

Quick life update first; The elder feline overlord has not been the best and as a result it looks like we are planning palliative care for him. The next issue is if we go forwards with the least invasive testing (that will just stress him out more) or take things as they come and deal with them as they arise. This has been a lot of additional costs (covered at least on this occasion, unlike the £1k plus dental work two years ago!) on top of unexpected expensive dental work (I need a replacement permanent brace, had to have a filling of which NHS materials just aren’t up to snuff and this is over £400). So far, the outlay (and I won’t get the dental back, obvs) has been getting on for £1k and my savings have been wiped out. I’m currently very short until the next ESA and monthly IIDB, plus the insurance remittance comes in. 

The plans for a home power station with solar panels to keep the APAP going in the middle of the night and the new fridge freezer are on hold, indefinitely. While I’m still planning on attending a conference over a long weekend in September, I’ve yet to find the cash for the accommodation, subsistence, travel and cat sitter (I can claim some of the costs back, with my dear friend who lives in the area also offering me to stay for a night or two to offset costs and will be staying with me on at least one of the nights I’m in accommodation, offering to help offset that). The issue is, just as with insurance, that getting funding back depends on a) being approved by the support fund committee (two weeks till I find out), b) how much they’ll fund and c) I still have to cover the costs up front. However, it’s looking increasingly likely that the motion I am working on will be going ahead and I am pencilled in to summate - we are working on a plan to accommodate that and a back up speaker plan. Yikes.

Anyway, in recent months, as I stare at the pre-washed fabric on the ironing board, ready to be cut out, I have been thinking on patterns, adjustments for the mostly-seated (including POCKET PLACEMENT), my ongoing quest to Make Historical Costume Accessible and looking into how to adjust patterns for the more generously endowed. I’ve noticed that accessible bras and even front fastening sports bras just don’t go up high enough in terms of cup size. I’ve found one that’s just about workable, but I still spill out, the shape is still off and I have to import it. As for most items of clothing, just because the overall chest measurement is sufficient to accommodate the chesticles, it doesn’t mean that the proportions will be OK; this is especially the case when you need to accommodate extra padding on the front at the stomach (a non-liquid grain storage facility, if you will), a short waist, lumbar lordosis, said frontage needing bridge engineering for support, narrow shoulders and a kyphosis. And I’m still scared of jersey.

So far, I’ve almost got simple tops and dresses down, by moving the apex point (did I mention that’s also an issue?) and doing an FBA with a shoulder narrowing, but I’ve not tried the mods on actual shirt patterns or more complex dresses. Then there’s the additional problem of changing up closures, as I find back zips and button closure to be increasingly difficult, especially when I’ve got the hand tremors, which kicked off again last week. Back zips need to move to the front or, where possible, removed in favour of a size zip and back button neck. Buttons can be replaced with Velcro or magnets (the latter being more independent-friendly for some) and I would also love to mod PJs and nighties for hospital use.

Other top considerations for both woven and jersey fabrics are how to ensure the back isn’t that tight, especially for manual wheelchair users - venting or split backs help, but how do you accommodate that for jackets, shirts, sweaters and avoid freezing to death in winter and a super tight collar or across the back shoulders? And capes. Obviously, capes. With some kind of way to secure the front down so it doesn’t flap up in the inevitable icy breeze. 

Trousers, skirts and shorts are generally easier for me, as I’ve been accommodating the lumbar lordosis (the exaggerated S bend at the base of my spine, meaning I’ve got a larger waist to hip ratio and a “sway back” - it’s how I was born and due to the EDS scoliosis), though this is slightly more exaggerated due to now being seated almost all the time, wheelchair or not. Measurements are also slightly different (bigger, basically) and, believe it or not, you have to accommodate an increase in overall length of the garment, because when you’re seated, the crotch requirements are increased meaning the legs pull up by a couple of inches. Key measurements to take on top of the usual are: Front and back crotch, thigh measurements and front and back leg measurements from the hip crease - inside leg is unlikely to change, in my experience. When it comes to skirts, it really depends on 1) how long you like them generally and 2) whether or not you might find it uncomfortable to not have enough skirt under you. I’m currently checking my measurements to see whether or not I prefer a skirt with deeper side vents, if I need a dropped hem at the back and all this is on top of what I’d usually do. 

Also, seams matter, especially if you’ve ever suffered from pressure areas; it’s generally going to be a good plan to remove any back pockets and middle seaming to accommodate this. Using more of a stretch in fabric is more comfortable, side zip or Velcro fastening makes life a lot easier, leg seam openings can help for some, stoma and feeding tube pockets may also be a consideration and shifting openings to the side seam may be more comfy generally. 

With jackets and shirts, along with tops, having longer side vents on those seams may help, or look for a design that goes over the hips like the Boardwalk top from Greenstyle. Cropped jackets and similar are a lot easier to handle. 

I’ll have to ask my friend who wears long length dresses about how she manages them, but you can wear full items, you just have to be good at holding the fabric in! And maybe not a 50s puffy underskirt… 

The last bit of news is that my dear friend, Empress P, and I have decided to start our own podcast and we then intend on writing a book about living your best disabled life. Keep your eyes out for Never Mind The Wheelchair podcast, coming soon when we figure out how to set up and use the equipment and recording programmes, edit and upload our own work. 

This is all on top of the usual advocacy and battling local services for a care package, while trying to get set up for running for local elections next year in what will not be a target seat. That means I’m basically a paper candidate, but I have needs to meet. I’m growing increasingly confident about my ability to help people in this arena, but obviously I need to think about the lack of support impacting on that ability to actually campaign and, potentially, be a local councillor. 

If only I’d do more regularly blog posts; then they wouldn’t be so long! 

Adventures in Crafting and Post-Covid Long Covid

 So…along with the inevitable recovery from the second bout of Covid (it’s horrendous. I thought it was bad before I had had covid again and now I’m back to three hours of unconsciousness if I decide to shower. Joy. Send an email or read a document? Ditto). Today, I’m feeling knocked out because I decided to stitch up the playsuit from the vintage pattern and… I might have forgotten to check my new measurements (though I recently checked them and they were as they usually are). It DOES fit, only the pockets (macgyvered from another pattern) are pulling and muggins here decided to completely finish the seams BEFORE checking the fit (as I could, reasonably, have reduced the side seam allowance to maybe 3/8 without affecting the overall fit). I can get them on. I can sit down without the seams straining. I do need to work on this pattern again, especially if I want to sew it up in anything more robust for winter and, in all honesty, it might work really well in a substantially thick knit without much stretch (not that I know how to sew knits. I am scared of them and I don’t have a properly serviced and working serger). It was a worthwhile experiment, but I’m going to tinker with the pattern again - which is Simplicity S9792 vintage from Jiffy range. The pockets came from a tunic/dress McCalls pattern as it didn’t have internal pockets with the pattern. I just have to find buttons, sew on suitable sized snaps (which I don’t have) or skirt closures (which I like and do have) but safety pins will do for now and if it comes to it, I’ll just sew buttons right through all the layers of fabric. My zip installation….worked. It’s been a while since I put one in and it kind of shows a bit. I am pretty sure I was using the zipper foot - again, I should have checked. I also need to hem the legs and work on the back legs pattern a bit.

I do like this pattern, not least because the zip fastening makes it really easy to get into, which is importantly if you’re disabled. The shoulder design is also useful if you’re expecting to have to spend time on IV/post surgery and with chronic conditions, opting to buy patterns which are easily adjustable to these considerations is important. Same with being a wheelchair user. I’ve found the Cashmerette advice in the book Adjusting the Curve to be really helpful with this. Increasing the seat (aka over the backside and up to the waist) is really important (I was already doing this with my sway back, but now I need to increase that more), but I’m also now having to adjust for the overhang at the front (something I think was MAJORLY affecting the playsuit at around the hips), adding leg length to account for sitting in a wheelchair and so on.

In other news, my experimental Knickerbockers worked really well and I’m very pleased with them! I’m toying with the idea of not bothering with the whole closure on the leg thing, though it did work, and just using elastic and coming up with some kind of fake button tab thing. Though it does work and looks cool! 

Anyway, I’m off back to check the fit of this thing as I wait for a drain engineer to come out on an emergency and hem the legs. Later! 

Well, it’s been a while

 To be honest, I had not realised it’s been almost a year 😲. I’ve been busy with long Covid advocacy and it’s exhausted me to the point of relapse. And I have Covid again. Somehow. I’m so cross, as I’m Covid cautious. One of my cats had to be put to sleep, but I have welcomed two ginger ninjas who Archie is happy to be around.

We have had a change of government, after one of the worst winters & springs in terms of politics. I’m not hopeful about the new government, but at least they’re not Tory. Same rhetoric on disabled and chronically ill. And the disabled & chronically ill with Long Covid are currently not well enough to challenge this effectively. Not with everything else we have to do.

I’m currently having to buy a whole lot of new splints and shoppers. With my pension being 1/3 of my former income, even having full ADP and a bit of ESA, it’s not really enough. I also need to fund a power add-on for my manual wheelchair (what I need isn’t funded under motability). I can’t just get cheap splints. I’m managing with a new thumb one, but it will need a decent new one soon, plus I need two to deal with my dropped foot and spasms issues.

I do have a cleaner back. This is a huge relief. I’ve at least got a clean home twice a month. I am still waiting to see a social worker (nearly 18 months at this point) for a personal assistant assessment. I’ve also been diagnosed with sleep apnoea secondary to Covid in 2020, but the waiting list to be seen for APAP is long. PoTS is an ongoing issue. My local trust still refuse to permit prescription of medications for MCAS, even with a new letter from one of their own recommending it. Speaking of which, I now have to get my records updated, as you need them for benefits stuff. I absolutely hate this - I don’t understand why the agencies can’t access these records themselves.

Due to all the work I’ve been doing for the Scottish Covid Inquiry, I’ve not been able to do anything much else at all. Craft took a back seat, my other LC projects also did too. I’ve taken part in some research projects and studies, but social media is a low priority and recently my hand tremors and cognitive dysfunction started again. That’s frustrating beyond belief.

I did shorten some old PJ pants into shorts, not that the weather is good enough to use them, with two more sitting waiting to be done. I have cut out pattern pieces for planned makes (the fabric has arrived and been washed). Then I realised the big ironing board is in the cupboard behind the new cat litter tray… 🤦🏻‍♀️.

So that’s me. I’ll write a post on how I manage symptoms as a lone person on bad days soon. When I feel a bit better and I have more energy.

So….in about another year then? 🤣. TTFN 

Crafting and Other (Long Covid) Updates

 Seeing as I FINALLY got down and cut out my knickerbockers, following a MacGyvering of two Simplicity patterns, I thought I’d drop in a post to update on various crafting shenanigans. 

As I can’t remember (read: didn’t bother to check the last post), over the last few weeks, I’ve finished my trans inclusive pride flag blanket replacement, knitted (frogged and re knitted) a rainbow dog jumper for a neighbour (from blanket leftovers), a cardigan in black, red and grey for my GP’s new baby (also from said leftover yarn) and started both a Sirdar jumper in Jewelspun (which I thought had wool in it, which will teach me to check properly) and my first pair of socks of the season in Cascade heritage solid and print. Why both? Because this tunic sweater is the biggest garment project I’ve knitted, I know it’s sometimes a good plan to knit something smaller, so you finish things. I set myself at least ten rows of the tunic sweater every day to knit, which is probably about 5cm. I also like knitting small things. Especially socks. I do have a sock yarn problem, so it’s probably good I’m keen on knitting them, huh? 

In terms of socks, I am aiming this year to get at least a pair finished by the end of the month and the Cascade Heritage print is possibly the thinnest yarn I’ve ever knitted with, but it’s incredibly soft. The colours reminded me of the Hocus Pocus witches, just in a more pastel colourway, without being actually pastel. I’m using a sage solid for the rib, heel and toe and it looks lovely. Given this is how what I like to do, I’ll almost certainly get a second pair out of this yarn (like I did with my Christmas socks for myself last year - someone was most pleased to get a pair of socks big enough for their feet!). The pattern I’m using is the one I knitted up in a lovely, now discontinued, cashmere sock wool by Debbie Bliss and, I regret to say, I fiddled with the pattern, resulting in a pair of socks just a smidge too small for me, so they were also passed along to a grateful recipient. Hand knit cashmere socks, with a lace stripe down each sock! She was pleased, but so am I to be finally able to knit my own pair!

I weakened and bought some Opal sock yarn yesterday in a 6ply, which I’m either going to knit slipper socks out of or just some socks. I’ve got some excellent patterns for thicker socks, so I’m looking forwards to using up the lovely pure wool I used to knit the greyhound jumpers over the summer, along with some slipper soles from Regia and Bergere De France - yes, I do want some new slipper socks.

I had a LOT of sock yarn leftover from last year in some prints and block solids and I then decided to buy yet more sock yarn - as of today, four of the six balls have arrived from Lovecrafts and Hobbii (though one colour way IS going to almost match my tunic sweater when it’s finished, so…). Look, I have a problem. A sock yarn problem. I know I do. But I’ve got patterns and a determination to not buy any more now. Promise. 

As I’m now not well enough to work, I am enjoying knitting and pottering. I’m slowly managing to sort through things a little at a time and I know that once I finish the sitting room I’ll feel much better, same with the kitchen. I recently was gifted an air fryer, which I’m very excited about.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, these socks aren’t going to knit themselves, nor is the tunic sweater. Sewing needs to wait for another day…

In terms of Long Covid, things are much the same; waiting for appointments, having others, waiting to hear about decisions on benefits, though I am now in the Support Group for ESA, which means they think I’m not well enough. Just another two and the pension to go. Knowing I’m relatively financially secure will make a big difference to my anxiety levels. However I am still facing selling my home. Sigh. 

Do take care.

2023 Crafting and other Update -

 I know we are at nearly October, but given how a) I am and b) my ability to forget or put things off, here’s where we are with the thing I had hoped to achieve this year.

Regency Wardrobe: The short stays don’t have fan lacing, I haven’t finished dealing with the petticoats and the fabric for the new dress is still either a) fabric or pieces of fabric or still a duvet cover. No caps, knitted mitts or bonnet, but I did do the first draft of the short cloak and in theory that won’t be too tricky as it’s basically two seams. However if it needs to have the edges bound, I have to measure the entire edge and order the bias. 

Other historical bits: non existent. Nope. 

My wardrobe: I did completely frog the legwarmers and redo them, without the feet with a size smaller needles and in the round. They now stay up better and the tension is a lot better. I’ve been meaning to write up the pattern properly and in a range of sizes, then sell it. I enjoyed MacGyvering the pattern and am really pleased with the result. I have bought the Star Wars fabric for the replacement dress when it was on sale. It is neither washed, nor cut out let alone made up and I would need to check my alterations for the bust in the largest size are translateable to the next size down or if I need to do a bit more pattern redrafting for that. AND I am tempted to make trousers instead. I did decide to keep a skirt I was going to donate and use the fabric to make a skirt I want, but again, I need to do a little redrafting of that (or, more likely, figure out some maths, use an off cut for a waistband and and get happy with some kind of cutting device, my machine and thick elastic). The skirt could be a VERY quick fix. I’ve also managed to wash the black fabric (originally intended for a skirt) and wool check and I was super pleased that the latter CAN go in a wool cycle in the washing machine. I’ve had a look at the patterns I’m using to create the knickerbockers, but I don’t think the first draft of this quite worked, so I’m going to have another go. In terms of pattern purchasing, I’ve bought a really good short one, PJs with pockets on the pants and some underwear patterns as well, as I’ve admitted defeat on most inexpensive bralettes and I would like to try making my own, though I think I may end up MacGyvering patterns until I get what I want. I have discovered Molke though. I have restrained myself on buying too much more fabric, so alas, I did not buy the Christmas mince pie fabric when it was £1 a metre! I’ve bought a little here and there - a metre each in black, grey and navy as potential lining, plus replacement Star Wars fabric if I didn’t mention it. I WAS going to make a replacement dress, but now I’m sorely tempted to make either a pair of trousers or a fitted shirt for me. One thing I do need to buy is some calico, which I use to see if a pattern will work or needs some alteration and it usually ends up as the lining of some things. If I do intend to work on that regency new gown next year, there’s a bit of work that needs doing to make that work, such as altering for lower bust point, narrower shoulders and then that means the sleeves will need tweaking too. I think I’ve also decided on the fabric I’ll use for my next shift, but I’m not buying that yet - not least because of money, but also because that pattern will need tweaking as well. 

Tech etc. I am thinking of taking up Vlogging and as it sits, I now only need a decent camera. I am thinking about doing a general chronic life vlog about what life with long Covid is like, as well as projects and what not. Unfortunately, I’m not sure if I can deal with editing and so on on my iPad or chrome book (and the chromebook is currently out of commission….as I forgot my password). I now have a cheap microphone, plus a ring light, but I don’t know if that actually works. Whoops? If I’m going to buy that, it needs to be soon. I do have a bit set aside that I can get a basic one, just not a laptop. I don’t feel I need one, I just need to know how I can edit or do simple edits and uploads from my existing chromebook or iPad. 

So long terms plans are to try and make at least one long tunic shirt in the basic style of an 18th c men’s shirt, in navy or grey, to fit with my aesthetic. I would like to get a waistcoat made, probably using an 18th century jacket pattern as a base, mainly because I’ve used that before and know what I want to do to make it work for history bounding or just wearing because I want to. I really must do something about my regency stuff, making the short cloak and so on. I should probably get on and use the fabric set aside for 18th century items, but in all honesty, it’s so difficult to get in and out of corsets for me now, that’s not a priority at all. I’d also like to use those two duvet covers to make some either historic or modern garments - the striped one would make an excellent long kaftan and I have just the pattern for it!

Yikes. It’s been a while

 I ended up not updating the blog this year for a number of reasons:

1) The Keyworker Petition Campaign took off in a BIG way, leading to over a hundred thousand supporters on the Change platform. It was handed into 10 Downing Street in March, but the London trip took so much out of me I’ve been in a relapse ever since, though up until August, I was involved in a number of other long Covid projects, with Long Covid Scotland, as well as the Scottish Healthcare Workers’ Coalition, who are a core participant of the Scottish Covid Inquiry. Confidentiality reasons mean I can’t say too much about that, but I can tell you that there is now a survey (which I originally drafted) for any health or social care worker to complete, with or without Long Covid. I was advised I was near burnout and had to stop 95% of advocacy. I’m hoping to get back in the saddle, but that’s dependent on a number of other things getting done first.

2) I finally lost my job in August. Medical termination. I knew it was coming, but it’s still been a shock. I also came off the U.K. nursing register at the end of the same month, so I’m no longer a registered nurse. I’ve only been qualified 12 years, so it’s been a very nasty and frustrating shock to the system and something that is entirely down to my Covid infection in 2020 and the lack of proper support and care since.

3) I am currently trying to sort out my home, as it’s looking very much likely that I will have to sell. I am, at least, on the council housing register, but the chance of staying in this area is remote. The best case scenario for me is that I can stay put until I qualify for sheltered housing and see if I can’t move back to the area I grew up in - which is still close to where I am now and there’s a good chance my GP practice would let me stay with them (and it’s on a direct bus route to them). However, when you’ve got relapsing and remitting symptoms on the daily, with severe PEM and PESE, trying to clear said home is extremely difficult. However I have now gone through about 80% of my books and a van load of things recently went off to charity shops. I’m also going through my shoes, accessories and bags etc, as well as clothing, again to try and slim that down. The final load will be ready to go to charity or sale in the Spring, whether I’m still here or not. I’ve also identified furniture I am going to let go as well. I suspect that once I’ve completely gone through all my cupboards and lockup, all that is gone and everything is more manageable I will feel a lot better. It’s just chaotic at the moment, which I absolutely hate, but there’s not much I can do about it and it all has to be done very, very slowly, lest I end up in bed for days on end. 

4) Shenigans with local health providers continues: One appointment got pushed back nearly four months, due to their closing the local testing clinic without warning and the next closest didn’t have any appointments for another 10 weeks. Then, as I cannot get equipment back to another clinic within 24 hours, they’ve cancelled those appointments and put me back on the waiting list for an inpatient appointment and that’s got an 18 month waiting list, less the four months I’ve been on it. Still no word about the exception for a medication. And then there was the farce over my flu vaccination. The Costumeer is VERY displeased with all this and no, I do not take this passively: A complaint has been put in about the horror show that is my nearest mass vaccination clinic. My MSP is also involved. 

5) I am still crafting when I feel able. I recently finished two greyhound jumpers and am now working on a replacement blanket for myself - it’s called a memory blanket (but the Hue Afghan by Knit Picks is very similar) - that has a cunning method meaning you can make this as small or big as you like and each square of it is constructed by partially or entirely picking up stitches from what you have already knitted - this means less sewing up (ie exertion) and I’m also making good use of another technique that means you partially incorporate loose ends as you’re knitting so there shouldn’t be too much of that either. I’m getting through anywhere between 3 and 6 squares a day. I managed to weaken this morning and buy more yarn and a pattern for a sweater I saw. It’s a bit more of a challenge as it’s a jumper for me, longer length and a chevron-style patterns, meaning you are increasing and decreasing on the same rows. I shall be using lots and lots of stitch markers! I’ve also promised some more dog jumpers to friends, but in most cases we are waiting as they’re mostly puppies or I need to see how much yarn is left from projects I’ve just completed or am working on. As the squares of this blanket are a bit smaller than I wanted, I’ve got to decide on how I’m going to make it a bit bigger before I use my grey yarn to knit the borders, but given the yardage used so far and what I’ve got left, I don’t think this is going to be an issue. Plus, once the main section is completed, it’s a case of dividing each colour left in half by weight, so equal amounts go on top and bottom edges. I was going to do smaller squares in the same method, but by the point I’m done with this main 11 or 12 x 11 stripe sequence, I think I’ll be over it and just want some stripes! I’m hoping that my 80cm circular needle will work for this, but I’m resigned to possibly purchasing a much longer one if needs be. I’ve got plans to cut out and sew up three or four garments - as two (or three, if I do two colourways of the knickerbockers) are autumn/fall style, but I’ve really got to adjust the pattern (I am MacGyvering my own from two - basically I’m altering the leg to that of another one and it’s not gone well. I may end up with the black ones, rather than the wool check, as the former fabric is cheaper so I won’t be too upset if it doesn’t go completely to plan). I’ve also drafted an 18th century short cloak and I’ve got the fabric for that, plus lining for the hood and some cheap metal closures. I’m not yet sure if I will be able to get away with leaving the edges unbound, but if the cloth is as lightly fulled as I think it is, it means it’s not a woven that will fray, so, as per historical ones, I can leave it. My replacement Star Wars dress or possibly trousers I am leaving till next year - the other one was given to my Aussie pal as it’s too big for me but fit her perfectly, but I bought replacement fabric. I keep searching for inexpensive, lightly fulled broadcloth wool mix fabric to make another long cloak out of, as mine is a bit too heavy a weight to drape properly, but I still haven’t seen any in a colour I want. The short cloak I intend to make non-costume use out of. Eventually I hope to trim it in Ribbon, fyi, but I don’t know when. If I do have to bind the edges, I’m just going to use plain old bias and I’ve got two colours to pick from. But it will probably be black. As most of you know, I tend to start knitting socks when the weather turns - I’ve got plenty of sock yarn to use! I’ve also got a lot of worsted/aran left from the dog jumper projects, so I will be knitting up a pair of slippers for myself, probably using two strands to achieve a chunky weight. I’ve got a pair of slipper soles, but my source recently closed down, though Bergere De France also do two types. 

6) Financials. I’m expecting to get 12 weeks redundancy plus my AL and they said that works out to a similar length of time. If I get it in one payment, unfortunately that’ll be taxed silly. I’ll get back the tax at the end of the year, but by that point I’ll just be out of the non-contributory stage of Employment Support Allowance, so whatever I get from tax back will be taken off my contributory based benefits. I am still waiting to hear about which group I’m supposed to be in, as there’s not only a different level of support, but also activities to engage with, though I will appeal if they consider me able to do some work at the moment as I can’t leave the house most of the time, let alone get through most days without a long rest and nap. I haven’t heard about Industrial Injuries Disablement Benefit - which I wasn’t expecting to get - so I’m calling that agency on Monday to find out what’s going on. In terms of the Scottish benefits agency, I found out two weeks ago that despite having my paperwork for nearly four months, they haven’t even got to the point of assessing my change form (and knowing my luck, they won’t have got to it by January when my current award expires, meaning that I’ll end up completing two change forms, essentially). I have been warned it’s taking more than eight months for these things to be sorted out (worse than when it was being handled by the U.K. agency, which is widely regarded as awful), which is extremely stressful to hear when you’ve lost your job and need to know what your income is likely to look like going forwards. I don’t know if the Pensions Agency have received my paperwork, but they’re also taking at least six months or more to decide if they will or will not award you early retirement, with mine not being worth much as I’ve only been working 12 years as a nurse. As for my legal case, there’s no word yet. I do have to forward on some information I got via my MSP, as it’s pertinent - not least the level of ableism displayed towards most people with chronic conditions in respect of management risk assessments. But I’ll need to look at the Covid age thing again, as there’s a very pertinent line in there about managers taking into account local prevalence of virus when deciding on non-shielding staff. 

I try to remain optimistic, even though I now need a wheelchair and I’m waiting for that appointment. Today has been a high pain day and I’m reminded of the levels of recycling that need done. I also need to get to the local grocery store. I’m also thinking of vlogging and learning how to edit. 

Friends, I hope you’re well. Should I remember, I will be posting some advice/shortcuts/things I use for bad days. 

If I remember…